Out-take: Juliet Takes the Floor/Juliet Takes a Chance

Out-take: Juliet Takes the Floor/Juliet Takes a Chance

So here’s a bit that I ended up cutting out of the Juliet Takes Flight stories — it was the introduction to Professor Green, who was a character a number of you enjoyed in Juliet Takes a Chance (and who’s making another appearance in Juliet Takes the Floor).

This bit is just over a thousand words of PG-13-ish/soft R — no sex, but talking about it. 

I ended up cutting this from the stories, but I actually think the scene is fun. What do you think?

When we got to the section on sexuality in Psych 1 this semester, the professor asked us, with a smirk, what we thought the most common “non-normative” sexual fantasies were.

After some tittering, and after she’d defined what the hell a “non-normative” fantasy was — as nearly as I could tell, she just meant something other than a daydream in which you and a regular partner of your preferred gender (if you had one) were in bed having sex — an uncomfortable silence settled over the small lecture hall.

“I love doing that to you freshmen,” she laughed. “You still actually care what the rest of us think. Upper-division students would have been yelling out the most obscene and unlikely suggestions.”

There were more titters — a little more like laughter.

“So,” she said, striding away from the white board and up the center aisle, “I’ll give you the first one for free: men or women, gay, straight, or magenta, it’s having sex with someone forbidden. Someone other than your spouse, if you’re married — ” Next to me, my roommate Franny sounded like she was swallowing her tongue. “ — or married to someone else, if you’re not, or someone of the quote-wrong-unquote class or race or gender or…. Classic Freudian stuff, right?” Again we laughed, but in recognition this time. “Someone famous or notorious or high status. An actor. The president. A drug lord.” She sat on my writing desk, leaned over me, and said in a breathy voice, “A teacher.” She batted her eyes at me.

The class broke out into true laughter then, both because of her performance — Doctor Green was grey-haired, frumpy, and shapeless, hardly anyone’s idea of a sex goddess, and had teased us about not being able to think about her and sex at the same time — and also because I was turning bright red.

They had no idea.

Doctor Green patted me on the shoulder and I smiled up at her. At least I tried.

Still seated on my desk, she asked, “So that’s the most universal sexual fantasy. Anyone want to take a stab at the second most popular?”

The silence settled again, but this time it was more thoughtful, less embarrassed. On Franny’s far side I heard Jason mumble something — this was about a month after I had walked in on him going down on my all-but-married roommate. He was only beginning to find his voice.

“What was that, Jason?” said Doctor Green.

“Threesome,” answered Jason, obviously trying not to be heard by the whole lecture hall — trying, but failing.

There was loud laughter, and more than a little cat-calling, since Jason’s reputation as a terminal virgin had spread far and wide.

They had no idea.

“Well done!” called Doctor Green, striding back up toward the front of the hall. “A threesome, a ménage à trois, a Napoleon’s Hat, a Spit Roast!” More laughter. (I suspect that most, like me, had to look up those last two, but we got the idea.) Arriving at the front of the room, she spun on her heels. “Any of you want to raise your hand and say that you haven’t ever thought about it?”

Silence, followed by yet another rumble of nervous giggling.

“So. A threesome. Yourself and two members of the opposite gender, or two of your own, or one of each.” She began writing the numbers 1 through 6 up on the board. “And which you tend to fantasize about says a lot about where you lie on our good friend, the Kinsey Scale.” With that she launched into a discussion of the spectrum of human sexuality.

Two weeks after that, Jordan visited me at school, and I discovered something that I hadn’t known about where I lay on that scale, and where she did.

ETA: I was asked over on G+ why I cut this, which seemed like an interesting question, actually. Here’s the answer I gave over there:

Honestly? It slowed things down too much, and it sent them in the wrong direction. This was originally placed immediately before “Juliet Takes a Chance.” And since that involved the narrator (Allison) hooking up with her BFF, not in a threesome, my “betas” pointed out that it just made the build-up too long and gave the wrong signal. And when I tried to drop it into “Juliet Takes the Floor” — which I posted the beginning of a bit ago and which does eventually involve a threesome — it felt out of place and redundant. So onto the cutting-room floor it fell!


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